1) There is no such thing as a “mean drunk”. If he is mean to you when he drinks then he is just mean. The alcohol simply unchains the man.
2) A man should never hit or push a defenseless woman. He doesn’t hit you because you treat him poorly. He does not do this because you get “up in his face”. He hits you because he is an asshole.
3) Having a bad childhood is not an excuse for being a bad adult. Good people take bad experiences from the past and turn them into something positive. Bad people take bad experiences from the past and turn them into excuses.
4) If he hits you once then he will hit you again. Apologies are just intermissions from the violence.
5) Trying to fix an abusive husband is like trying to turn a ticking time bomb into a lovely bouquet of roses. It is only a matter of time before the whole thing just blows up in your face.
6) If you blame yourself after your husband physically attacks you then congratulations… you have just become his psychological puppet. He is using your own empathy against you.
7) You can tell your children whatever you want. You can attempt to teach your kids how to be wonderful people. Your children will ultimately learn how to treat a woman by watching how your husband treats you.
8) If you are ever even briefly frightened for your life because of your husband then he should never know where you sleep going forward.
9) There is never a good excuse to stay. Issues with money and children will work themselves out over time. You should not be afraid of the unknown. The known in your life is frightening enough.
10) Nobody intentionally marries an abusive husband. You are not “just like one of those women”. You ARE one of those women.
You are correct we don’t marry these guys on purpose… sometimes we think if we LOVE them well enough they will become the man we dream of marrying. Usually they begin their task of tearing us down by belittling and degrading us. We never do anything correct, they are the only one that can and they are the ones judging us .(and this makes the demon in them stronger).. if we attempt to do anything.. usually we break and finally on ask to do something… ask for their approval. But we women have a limit or breaking point.. sometimes it is ignored but other times it is what gives us that push to get out… to survive. When I arose and stood like the woman that I am ,,, I seen him as the small coward he is…. still to this day. I am a survivor… I am more than the “Bitch” he called me everyday. I am a Mighty Woman of God!.