My List of New Year’s Revolutions

1) I will start referring to resolutions as revolutions just to annoy the crap out of people.

2) I am going to try to exercise less and get just a little bit fatter.

3) I plan to use the word “plethora” at least three times per day.

4) I will stop at least one crime with my new double bladed Batarang that I just received for Christmas… preferably jaywalking.

5) I will stop rooting for sports teams that do not root for me in return.

6) I will finally admit publicly that I am hooked on phonics and enter rehab.

7) I will eat a plethora of pecans.

8) I will try to not be so hard on myself when I immediately forget all of my new year’s resolutions. Damn it, I meant to say revolutions. I am such a loser…

9) I will try to make time in my life for more cowbell.

10) I will start going to church every Sunday… and by “church” I mean “Church’s Fried Chicken”.

Have a Happy New Year everybody!

Published by

Michael Guyer

Dr. Michael Guyer graduated from Hendrix College with a degree in chemistry and then obtained a medical degree from the University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences. He is now a software developer for Apple Computer. He has formal computer programming training in C++, Objective C, Visual Basic, Java, HTML, and Swift.

One thought on “My List of New Year’s Revolutions”

  1. I am a revolution-ist too!!! I just get sick when I go around 10 times. I stumble all over the place. 🙂

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