He was never supposed to be my son. I worked closely with his mother twenty years ago during my medical residency. She was my supervising resident when I was just an intern. The next year she went on to become the chief resident at the hospital. Then she told me one day while we were still just friends that she was pregnant and soon after that she told me that she was getting a divorce. I then confided in her that my world and my marriage were also falling apart.
Over the next few months, I naturally gravitated towards his mom. As she progressed in her pregnancy, I progressed towards divorce and insolvency. I became homeless and started living secretly on the fourth floor of a local hospital. His mother offered to let me live with her as I struggled financially to get back on my feet. I really had no choice but to accept her offer given the fact that I had no money and I was already starting to fall in love with her.
I was not ready to raise a kid. I was immature and foolish. I was deeply in debt and could barely take care of myself. But then something incredible happened. This woman with whom I had worked so closely and cared about very much asked me to attend her child’s delivery. She wanted me right there by her side. She eventually delivered her newborn baby right in front of me. I held him in my arms when he was just a few minutes old. I can’t explain it but I instantly felt very protective of this little boy. This small child made me want to be a better man.
His name was Alex Gray. We brought him back to a small apartment which we could barely pay for. We could not afford furniture but our families brought us a few things to keep the place from looking completely empty. I found an old couch in a dumpster and we covered the holes of this couch with a blanket. I would sometimes sit on this old couch and rock Alex to sleep. I didn’t know for sure what to call him… but when he fell asleep in my arms each night, he felt like he was family. I suddenly began to realize that he already had a hold on my heart.
Six months later, Alex’s mother and I got married. We did not have enough money for a wedding so we spent one hundred dollars to be married at the home of a justice of the peace in his backyard. Most people thought that I had gone crazy. I had just gotten divorced. I moved in with a pregnant woman and then immediately got married again. Many people assumed that I had an affair which resulted in the birth of a child. Alex might as well have been my child because I couldn’t have loved this little guy any more than if we had actually shared the same chromosomes.
I watched Alex’s first steps. I heard his first words. I fed him his first solid food. I changed his diapers regularly and sang to him at night to help him fall asleep. I read to him and played with him. I taught him how to tie his shoes. I started working some extra jobs on the weekends and paying off my debts. I began saving for Alex’s future. I did just about everything that responsible fathers are supposed to do.
When Alex started public school, he began telling everyone that his full name was Alex Guyer. He wanted a last name that would match the last name of his mother’s and mine. We told Alex that he could not use a name in school that was not his legal name. We told him that he had to use his birth name at school to avoid confusion.
I went on to accept my role to the best of my ability. I did every “dad” thing that I could think of over the years. I took him fishing. I took him camping. I talked with him at the dinner table every night. We played games together. We joked together. Over the years, he started to act just like me. My wife would tell me that if she didn’t know any better that she would swear that he was actually my biological son.
Alex turned eighteen years old just a few months ago. He became an adult overnight and was suddenly able to make his own decisions. We both decided it was time for the rest of the world and the legal system to recognize what we already knew.
I am proud to introduce everyone to my son, Alex Guyer. My adoption of Alex has just been finalized. However, it is important to understand that Alex did not suddenly become my son today. He has been my son from the very first moment that I held him in my arms. I have always referred to Alex as my son and he has always called me his dad. After today’s adoption, everyone else finally gets to acknowledge what we have known all along.
